"Red Dawn" (1984)
Starring: Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Grey, Lea Thompson
(CNN) -- "Red Dawn" is a big "what if," as in what if the Russians decided to invade? Or in hindsight, what if Patrick Swayze were a good actor?
The 1984 flick is the obvious result of some Hollywood producers realizing the profit to be made on the heightened Cold War fears of millions of Americans. At the same time, they managed to make the film an action-adventure vehicle for some hot young actors.
Starring those '80s screen legends Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Grey, and Lea Thompson, "Red Dawn" revolves around the idea that the Russians are too sensible to start World War III in a nuclear way, but for some reason still want to start World War III.
They convince Cuba and Nicaragua (NATO has disbanded; the United States stands alone -- what if?) to fire up their military forces, use a few limited nuclear strikes as a smoke screen, and storm the good ol' U.S. of A. in a highly synchronized and highly improbable sneak attack.
Within minutes of the opening credits, viewers are treated to paramilitary forces dropping from the skies onto that coveted U.S. fortress ... a school in small-town Colorado? Oh, well. How else to introduce the main characters -- a handful of high schoolers who will help save democracy?
Swayze plays Jed, the leader of the high schoolers. And if you think that he shows more character depth than he did in "Dirty Dancing" (also with Jennifer Grey!), then you'll believe that Fidel Castro is actually Tom Cruise in one of his "Mission Impossible" disguises.
Led by Swayze's deft acting, our heroes head into the woods with pea-shooters, where they learn to survive away from civilization. By the time winter arrives they have grown machine guns, rocket launchers and horses, and they're wearing tree branches in their hair. But you don't care because you're enjoying C. Thomas Howell as he pretends to be a better actor than Swayze, while trying to convince us of the horrors of "war" as he loses touch with logic and shoots his high school buddy-turned-traitor.
Perhaps this movie shouldn't be taken seriously. It is, after all, a big "what if," planted in the fog of Cold War delirium. In the current soft filter of '80s nostalgia, this movie is completely hilarious -- er, harmless.
Keep in mind that in this movie, the plot is less relevant than its shock value. In 1984, while worrying about the approaching Armageddon (not the movie, the real thing), half the United States was engaged in 1950s nostalgia, and another significant portion of the population was apparently snorting coke. Everyone was brimming with euphoric patriotism, and the sight of the U.S.S.R. being stupid or crazy enough to actually attack us on our own turf was quite alarming. After all, would we attack them on their soil?
This is high-concept comedy painted black, misunderstood in its time due to Cold War prejudices. Or maybe it's just one reason Steven Spielberg decided to make a real war movie called "Saving Private Ryan."
